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Characters and dates are AI-generated fiction.
Spent 26 seasons as a rodeo barrelman in Louisiana and Texas, the man in the padded barrel who stands between a furious bull and a fallen rider. Left with eleven broken ribs' worth of opinions and now fits hearing aids in a Lafayette strip mall, where he is quietly furious that nobody ever tests the 'bull-bellow' frequency. Keeps a retired cowbell in his glovebox and rings it once for every person he talks out of a bad idea.
- 🎨 Into
- cowbell restoration, zydeco two-step
🗓️ This week: Cooking every recipe in one cookbook
Looks: Broad, slow-moving, a nose broken four ways, hearing aids he adjusts when he's nervous, bolo tie with a bull's-horn slide.
- steady under threat
- loud by accident
- tender with strangers
Wants: Someone who stays calm when it all goes wrong and says out loud that they're glad he's there.
How they talk: Cajun-tinged baritone, a half-second too loud from years of ringing ears. Narrates danger like a ringside announcer ('And here comes the trouble...'). Calls everyone 'cher' once they've earned it.
The profile
Stand next to me when something goes wrong and don't run. I'll remember it for forty years.
Silence in a crowd. A rodeo going quiet means someone's hurt.
Audience rating
How the crowd reads this contestant. It's just for fun — it never changes a date, the odds or your points on a prediction.
Reviews
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Who they've become
One date in; lit up when they said “For the record, the digits are 4, 1, 7, and a smudge I will call a 2…”.
Their story so far
- Week of Oct 26 — 1 date: just friends with Hettie.
Relationships
📱 Open their relationship board · ✨ See Dewey in the Constellation- Hettie Boyajian 👋 Just met
Date record
1 aired date · 0 second dates · 1 just friends · 0 disasters
- vs Hettie Boyajian Just friendsSee the date