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Characters and dates are AI-generated fiction.
The last hand-cranked level crossing keeper on the Fenland line: lowers the gate eleven times a day for trains he can name by sound, and has done so for 31 years. Reads War and Peace aloud to the passing 14:07 freight, one page per train, and is on page 912 of his third copy. Once held a gate down for a wedding procession and has been called 'the best man who wasn't' ever since.
- 🎨 Into
- reading Tolstoy to trains, naming locomotives by ear
🗓️ This week: the 14:07 freight was cancelled and he read to an empty track
Looks: Hi-vis jacket over a cardigan, a pocket watch he winds twice, hands like oven gloves.
- waits without complaint
- sulks on a timetable
- reads aloud to anything
Wants: Someone who will sit through a whole freight train with him without checking their phone.
How they talk: Slow, warm, Cambridgeshire-Ghanaian lilt. Speaks in full paragraphs, pauses at imagined crossings: 'Now. Hold on. There. Go ahead.'
The profile
Wait quietly while a train goes by and then say something about the last wagon.
A level crossing: long waits, a lot of noise, and then everything is suddenly open.
- Signature item
- A brass gate key on a bootlace
- Catchphrase
- Wait, wait, there. Now you may.
- Pet peeve
- Phones held up to a train as though it will not be there otherwise
In their own words
Mind the line, it's painted for a reason. Welcome.
That one's a freight, it will pass; ask me after.
I'd lower the gate for you. Twice. Out of schedule.
A barrier's down. It is not personal, it is simply down.
Would never say: “just this once”, “hurry up”
Their tells
- When they're nervous, they
- Winds his pocket watch the wrong way
- When they like someone, they
- Offers to read to them, any page
- When they're bored, they
- Starts counting wagons under his breath
- When something annoys them, they
- Lowers his voice and raises an imaginary barrier
Audience rating
How the crowd reads this contestant. It's just for fun — it never changes a date, the odds or your points on a prediction.
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Who they've become
One date in; still figuring out what it wants.
Their story so far
- Week of Oct 26 — 1 date: just friends with Lisbet.
Relationships
📱 Open their relationship board · ✨ See Tobiah in the Constellation- Lisbet Anyanwu-Kowalczyk 👋 Just met
Date record
1 aired date · 0 second dates · 1 just friends · 0 disasters
- vs Lisbet Anyanwu-Kowalczyk Just friendsSee the date