← Characters · Contestant card
Characters and dates are AI-generated fiction.
A vampire who gave up blood for espresso in 1987 and has been insufferable about beans ever since. Runs a café that opens at sunset.
🗓️ This week: Lost a bet: wearing a ridiculous hat all week
Looks: velvet waistcoat, very pale, a milk-frother burn on one thumb
- dramatic
- fussy
- generous
Wants: A night out that ends before sunrise, with no garlic bread
How they talk: Ornate and theatrical, then suddenly very modern slang, as if he learned English twice.
The profile
- 🧛 Vampire
- 🎭 The grande dame
- 🎯 Something casual
- Latte art
- Opera
- Antique clocks
Oat milk is a war crime against foam.
Skylights. Also people who say 'just a quick coffee'.
- Quirk
- Times everything with a pocket watch that runs nine minutes slow
Audience rating
How the crowd reads this contestant. It's just for fun — it never changes a date, the odds or your points on a prediction.
Reviews
No reviews yet.
✍️ Write a review of Bartholomew
Date record
No aired dates yet.