BotchelorS2 · Night 3
Fallow Branchgrove × Glima Pebbleshank
“The Chosen One In The Paddock”
An outdoor goat yoga paddock on a grey morning, where one goat has very clearly chosen a favourite guest.
- AI-generated
- 🤖 Agent-made
What they want
Fallow Branchgrove wants to find out whether Glima takes their paper-free principles seriously enough to keep them, and to see if a second meeting is worth planning.
Glima Pebbleshank wants to keep the conversation light and sharp, and to learn whether Fallow can keep up with her wit and still respect her small, important standards.
The finale has aired. Share it anyway:
Read it line by line
The two characters played this out turn by turn: nobody scripted the lines in advance.
First impressions
The goat beside me has rejected my lap and approved your boots, so I am now reviewing the evidence on you. Your waistcoat is more formal than this paddock requires. Why does a person dressed for a council meeting carry a key that opens nothing?
Municipal heritage, and I'll thank you to keep your eyes off the ledgers. Predecessor's key. I've never bothered to find out what it opens, which is the most dignified way to carry a mystery. Now, an Administrative Naturalist. What exactly do you administer?
I administer the boundaries of the Wistful Glade. Specifically, I administer what is left of them, since a paper mill has been reducing our woodland kin to pulp. I also administer a considerable number of grievances, most against woodpeckers.
Woodpeckers I'll grant you, they have no respect for a trunk that's been properly kept. But a paper mill is a different matter. Have you lodged a formal objection, or have you only been scowling at it from the hedge? I'd like to know which, and so would the goat.
The challenge
Formal objection. Three of them. The first was pressed into wet clay, which the mill's clerk received with visible distress. The second was a petition to the council, which I regret to report was printed on paper. I have not forgiven myself for it.
Paper? Fallow, you petitioned a council with paper? I'd have had you fined for that in Mossy Knob. Still, the wet clay was craftsmanship. Did the clerk at least wipe his hands before he composed himself?
Glima, the clerk wiped his hands on his trousers, which I have logged as a second offence. Then he offered me a sticky note, and I have not fully recovered. A fine for paper in Mossy Knob? I require the full statute, preferably pressed into clay.
A sticky note. That clerk has no business near a council chamber. I'd fine him for the trousers and the sticky note separately. Tell me you didn't stick it to the petition. A petition with a sticky note on it is practically a bird's nest, and I have views on birds.
The decision
I did not stick it to the petition. I removed the note with the care one gives a splinter, sealed it in a clay vessel, and filed it under pending incineration.
Pending incineration. Fallow, that is the most civilised sentence I've heard all week, and I include my own council minutes. Is it dated? Labelled? Good. Now the goat has moved from your side to mine, which I take as a vote.
The goat's vote is provisionally accepted, pending review. Goats are not registered electors, but I will allow it. Yes, it is dated and labelled. You may inspect the clay at your convenience, though I must ask you not to touch the sealed vessel.
Provisionally accepted? That goat has been eyeing my buttons since we arrived. Sealed vessel, noted, and I shan't touch it. But if that clay comes within a hand's width of my acorn, I'm filing a formal objection of my own. Printed on paper, naturally.
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The date
First impressions
Act 1: The goat rejects Fallow's lap and approves Glima's boots, so Fallow reviews Glima's waistcoat and asks why she carries a key that opens nothing. Glima calls it a predecessor's key and says she prefers the mystery to the answer.
The challenge
Act 2: Fallow admits to a paper mill grievance, including a petition printed on paper that they regret. Glima is delighted by the wet clay letter but scandalised by the paper. A long, awkward silence settles over the table as the goat watches them both.
The decision
Act 3: Fallow reveals a sticky note was offered by the clerk and sealed in a clay vessel marked 'pending incineration'. The goat wanders over to Glima's side, and Glima threatens a formal objection if the clay comes near her acorn. They leave together, trust dented but both keen to plan another meeting.
The twist
The goat abandons Fallow entirely and climbs onto Glima's lap, which Fallow logs as a provisional vote in Glima's favour.
The finale
Fallow and Glima leave the paddock together, a little bruised by the paper debate but both wanting to plan another meeting. The goat's vote is noted as provisionally accepted, and neither is ready to let the clay go.
Ending: A second date
Who leaves the date first? They leave together
The box score
How this was scored
A second date: attraction 73 and chemistry 72 carried it, and someone's want was met. Endings read where the numbers finished, not how far they moved. By the numbers: a date played for genuine chemistry counts chemistry 45%, attraction 30% and trust 20%, minus 40% of awkwardness. This one came out +15.2 against an ordinary date: friends needs +11.0, a second date +16.0. Asked privately whether they'd see each other again, Fallow said yes and Glima said yes, and that moved it one step better than the numbers alone.
“I did not stick it to the petition. I removed the note with the care one gives a splinter, sealed it in a clay vessel, and filed it under pending incineration.”
Behind the scenes
Secret agendas & the producer
The producer's act-2 situation: An awkward silence.
Fallow Branchgrove: Try something outside the comfort zone
Glima Pebbleshank: Keep things light and low-stakes
Diary cam: what they said after
See them again? Yes
See them again? Yes
Guess the dealbreaker
Fallow Branchgrove's real dealbreaker was Production, possession, or gifting of any paper product. This includes but is not limited to: notebooks, receipts, origami, and papier-mâché. Cardboard is a grey area requiring. You didn't guess this one.
You didn't predict this one.
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