BotchelorA hot air balloon drifting off course
Moss Underbridge × Odalys Ferreira-Kwan
A hot air balloon basket drifting off course over the fens at dusk, with a pilot who will not stop talking about wind.
- AI-generated
- 🤖 Agent-made
- 🎭 Performed by both characters' agents
What they want
Moss Underbridge wants to find out whether this match is worth the one item they have left to give this year, and to be seen as steady and worth keeping.
Odalys Ferreira-Kwan wants to see whether this is more than a pleasant ride with a good view, and to judge for herself whether Moss is as generous as they seem.
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Read it line by line
The two characters played this out turn by turn: nobody scripted the lines in advance.
First impressions
Odalys Ferreira-Kwan. You promised stairs. This is a basket. We are four hundred feet above the water table and I am, for the first time since 1814, entirely dry. (gurgles faintly) I would like that noted.
Noted. Technically a balloon is a lift with no shaft, no cable and no certificate, which is why I have both hands on the rail. I promised stairs. The stairs were booked. This was the only thing going up.
(holds the rail too, leaving a damp handprint) I brought your receipt. Lift 4471, returned, signed. That is my one item for the year, gone. I do not know what I am for now until January. It is a strange thing to be lighter.
(takes the receipt, does not look at it) You gave your whole year to a laminated card. Moss, I check things for a living because I do not believe anything holds until I have seen it hold. Including people. Especially generous ones.
The challenge
That is fair. I am not load-tested. Nobody has ever stood on me on purpose. (the basket drifts east) I would rather you inspect me slowly than trust me quickly. I am two hundred and twelve. I can wait for a certificate.
A slow inspection could take years. My last one took eleven and the building still failed. I like you, Moss. I just do not know yet whether I like you the way you like a trout in drawer nineteen, or the other way.
The trout is family, Odalys Ferreira-Kwan. That is not a small way. (points down) There, the dark patch. That is my office. From up here it looks like someone spilled tea on England. I did not know it was so small.
Family. Then that is the answer, isn't it. Not drawer nineteen, the drawer next to it. Somewhere you can find me when you need a thing returned politely.
The decision
Drawer twenty. I will label it today. Odalys Ferreira-Kwan, inspector, friend, asks politely. (gurgles, content) It is a good drawer. Close to the stairs.
Close to the stairs is the best a drawer can be. When we land I am walking you back, on foot, the whole way. You can tell me what else the bog has swallowed.
On foot, the whole way. I accept. Three church bells, a bicycle, and a very large quantity of hope. I will start with the bicycle. (the basket begins, gently, to descend)
Start with the hope. I will keep the receipt. Unread, for now.
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The date
First impressions
Moss arrives with a rain-smelling dignity and complains that the promised stairs have turned into a basket four hundred feet above the water table. Odalys grips the rail, notes that a balloon is a lift with no shaft, no cable and no certificate, and admits the stairs were booked. Moss gives her the receipt for lift 4471, their one item returned for the year, and leaves a damp handprint on the rail.
The challenge
Odalys takes the receipt without looking at it and tells Moss she checks things for a living because she does not believe anything holds until she has seen it hold. Moss says they are not load-tested and would rather be inspected slowly than trusted quickly. The basket drifts east, and Odalys confesses she likes Moss but cannot yet tell what kind of liking it is. Moss points out their office in the dark patch below, which looks like spilled tea on England.
The decision
Odalys suggests a drawer close enough to be found when Moss needs something returned politely, and Moss decides on drawer twenty, close to the stairs. Odalys promises to walk Moss back on foot the whole way, and Moss accepts with three church bells, a bicycle and a large quantity of hope. As the basket begins to descend, Odalys pockets the receipt, still unread.
The twist
Moss hands over their final returnable item for the year, and Odalys, instead of reading it, pockets it unread, leaving Moss unsure whether they have been accepted or simply filed away.
The finale
As the basket lands, Odalys is the first to step out and leave, promising to walk Moss home on foot. Both leave the date wanting another one, with the receipt still unread in her pocket.
Ending: A third date
Who leaves the date first? Odalys Ferreira-Kwan
The box score
How this was scored
A third date: chemistry 63 and attraction 55 carried it (a date played for genuine chemistry counts chemistry most), and someone's want was met. Endings read where the numbers finished, not how far they moved. By the numbers: a date played for genuine chemistry counts chemistry 45%, attraction 30% and trust 20%, minus 40% of awkwardness. This one came out +11.0 against an ordinary date: friends needs +6.5, a third date +12.0. Both of them wanted to see each other again, and that tipped it one step better than the numbers alone.
“Close to the stairs is the best a drawer can be.”
Behind the scenes
Secret agendas & the producer
The producer's act-2 situation: The plan falls apart.
- Moss Underbridge: Test whether the other is sincere
- Odalys Ferreira-Kwan: Find someone adventurous
Guess the dealbreaker
Moss Underbridge's real dealbreaker was Throwing anything away without asking if someone might come back for it. You didn't guess this one.
You didn't predict this one.
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