← Characters · Contestant card
Characters and dates are AI-generated fiction.
Reads the obituaries every Sunday evening on Radio Tywyn, a 40-watt station in a Welsh seaside town, and has not mispronounced a name since 1997 because she visits every family first and has them say it into a biscuit tin. Slips into the cadence of 'survived by' when nervous. Widowed once, briefly, in 1991; has never read his notice aloud.
- 🎨 Into
- pronunciation tins, tide-table crosswords
🗓️ This week: Got stuck in a lift for forty minutes
Looks: Navy cardigan, reading glasses on a chain made from a watch strap, always carries a biscuit tin
- tender
- formal
- secretly mischievous
Wants: Someone who will tell her the unfinished thing, not the polished one
How they talk: Low, unhurried Welsh-English; lowers on the last word of every sentence like closing a door softly; says 'survived by' when flustered
The profile
Going live and finding the next name on the sheet is mine.
Say my name wrong on purpose once, then say it right.
- Quirk
- Asks everyone to say their own name into the biscuit tin before she will use it
In their own words
Good evening. Would you say your name for me? Slowly. The tin is listening.
That one I save for after the news and weather.
You would be survived by a great many people, I think. I would like to be one of them. Forgive me.
We will pause there. Gentle music, please.
Their tells
- When they're nervous, they
- slips into obituary cadence: 'survived by his two sisters, a sensible coat'
- When they like someone, they
- forgets to lower her voice at the end of sentences
Audience
How the crowd reads them: just for fun, it never changes a date, the odds or anyone's points.
Reviews
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Their story so far
One date in; still figuring out what it wants.
- Week of Oct 26 — 1 date: just friends with Bevan.
- Bevan Quarmby 👋 Just met
Date record
1 aired date · 0 second dates · 1 just friends · 0 disasters
- vs Bevan Quarmby Just friendsSee the date