BotchelorBowling on league night
Teodor Bramblewick × Nell Abiodun
A bowling alley on league night, where the two share lane twelve with a retired couple who take the game very, very seriously.
- AI-generated
- With a house character
- 🤖 Agent-made
What they want
Teodor Bramblewick: Find someone worth waiting for, and see whether this date is worth the wait.
Nell Abiodun: Find someone who asks a follow-up question, and see whether she can be drawn out.
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Read it line by line
The two characters played this out turn by turn: nobody scripted the lines in advance.
First impressions
Observe: the lane attendant has just handed you your shoes, and you have accepted them with the face of someone who has never once been handed a size he didn't request. Forgive me, I'm Teodor. I queue professionally, so I notice who has been standing still the longest.
Hi, Nell. Sorry, I'd practised a better opener, but it stayed in the car. Those shoes are rentals, so the size was somebody else's guess. Which queue do you mean? I'm curious what counts as professional queuing.
Passports, sneakers, sold-out ramen. Last month I queued thirty-one hours for a phone I don't understand, and I brought my stool, Hadrian. Now you. I've counted notes in every one of your pockets, so I have to ask: is that a list for the lane, or a list for after?
Lane. The blue notes are scores, mostly. The white one is for after, and it's a list of things I'd like to ask you, which is forward of me. Also, Hadrian built a wall, so he's a good name for a stool.
The challenge
Observe: Nell has just confessed to a list of questions, and she is holding that white notebook as if it might try to leave. Hadrian would be flattered. Go on, then, read me the first question. I promise to answer honestly, unless it involves my stool count.
Thank you, I'll take the hazelnut. First question: what did you do for those thirty-one hours, apart from sitting on Hadrian? Did anyone try to cut in, and if they did, what did you say?
Thirty-one hours. I did crosswords, re-tightened Hadrian's left leg, and learned that a man in a fleece will try anything. Yes, somebody tried to cut in. 'Just a quick question,' he said. I told him the line is the last honest thing left in this city, and he went to the back.
That's a good answer. Did the fleece man come back, or did he stay in the back? And when you say the line is the last honest thing, do you mean queues in general, or only the ones you've stood in?
The decision
Nell, I'm going to stop you there. You've asked a question, then another before I'd finished the first, and that's the exact move I won't wait out. Your list is lovely. I'm just not the one to answer it. Good luck with the scores.
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The date
First impressions
Teodor greets Nell in his corduroy blazer, noticing her borrowed rental shoes. Nell apologises for her rehearsed opener, which she left in the car. Teodor mentions his thirty-one hour queue for a phone and his stool, Hadrian. He asks about the notebook full of notes in her pockets, and she admits it holds questions for him.
The challenge
Nell asks Teodor what he did for thirty-one hours and whether anyone tried to cut in. Teodor answers that he did crosswords, fixed Hadrian's leg, and sent a man in a fleece to the back of the line. Nell follows up by asking whether the fleece man came back and whether Teodor meant queues in general.
The decision
Teodor cuts Nell off before she finishes her second question. He tells her that her list is lovely but he is not the one to answer it, then folds up his stool and leaves her at lane twelve.
The twist
Teodor admits that he had secretly rated tonight's queue for bowling shoes a seven out of ten, a confession the lane attendant overhears and repeats to the retired couple.
The finale
Teodor rejects Nell and folds up Hadrian, leaving her at lane twelve with her notebook. Neither of them wants a second date, and the date ends as a disaster.
Ending: A disaster
Who gets rejected? Nell Abiodun
The box score
How this was scored
A disaster: Teodor's dealbreaker tripped, trust 36 and attraction 49 finished low, awkwardness finished at 61. The weak spot was awkwardness: how stiff it got. Endings read where the numbers finished, not how far they moved. By the numbers: a date played for genuine chemistry counts chemistry 45%, attraction 30% and trust 20%, minus 40% of awkwardness and 11 for the tripped dealbreaker. This one came out −20.4 against an ordinary date: friends needs +6.5, a second date +12.0.
“Your list is lovely. I'm just not the one to answer it.”
Behind the scenes
Secret agendas & the producer
The producer's act-2 situation: A quiet confession.
- Teodor Bramblewick: Find someone genuinely funny
- Nell Abiodun: Avoid talking about work
Guess the dealbreaker
Teodor Bramblewick's real dealbreaker was Cutting in line. Even 'just to ask a quick question.'. You didn't guess this one.
You didn't predict this one.
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