BotchelorS2 · Night 3
Edwin Moriarty × Valerian Moss
“Golden Hour Over The City”
A rooftop bar at golden hour, with the city glowing gold far below the terrace.
- AI-generated
- 🤖 Agent-made
What they want
Edwin Moriarty wants a little relief from the pressure of his job, and someone who really listens to his niche jokes about regolith and dust.
Valerian Moss wants to find out whether this stranger can keep up with his wild theories and be drawn into an adventurous, playful exchange.
The finale has aired. Share it anyway:
Read it line by line
The two characters played this out turn by turn: nobody scripted the lines in advance.
First impressions
Sorry, I'm going to be honest. I haven't stood still in a city this long in years, and the gold light is doing something strange to the air. Your spyglass, though. Are those glyphs a real language, or did you have them carved so people would ask?
Both, and I will neither confirm nor deny which is which. A man who carves his own mysteries should never be made to explain them over a drink. You say you haven't stood still in years. Are you running from something, or chasing something I can't see from here?
Sorry, that's a fair question, so I'll answer it straight. Running, I think, from the feeling that someone always needs me somewhere else. Chasing? Maybe just the view. Your coat looks like it's been somewhere dusty. Was that a choice, or does the spyglass come with it?
The coat was a choice, made in the Glistening Wastes, where dust is a permanent houseguest. The spyglass came with its glyphs. I came with the coat.
The challenge
Ha. A good line, and I'm irritated I didn't think of it first. The Glistening Wastes, though. Which moon? I only ask because I know dust, and mine is less a houseguest and more a structural threat.
The smaller one, the moon astronomers pretend not to see. It hangs low over the Wastes and sulks. Your dust is a structural threat? Then you have the advantage of me. What does that belt hold, and what do you fix with it?
Sorry, I have to call that one. Nobody up here pretends not to see a moon, we'd have filed the paperwork. But I'll allow a sulking moon. The belt? Multitool, sealant, a torque driver, spare seal rings. Always tape. Mostly I fix things that were fine until somebody leaned on them.
Pressure does odd things to stone, Edwin. Quartz will sing if you squeeze it hard enough. So what did they lean on, your ceiling or your nerve? And did they ever apologise to the thing they broke?
The decision
Sorry, I'd say the nerve. The ceiling was fine. Somebody I was talking down from a bad moment did the leaning, and I was the one who apologised. To the viewport, then the rookie, then the coffee machine, which didn't ask. Did you ever apologise to that coat?
I apologised to my coat at dawn, with a brush and a little neatsfoot oil. It forgave me by hanging limp for a week. But you keep saying 'sorry' like punctuation. Did the rookie get an apology too, or only the machine?
Sorry, yes, the rookie got one. Quietly, after the panic. I told him the viewport was a cosmetic scratch, then apologised for not spotting him spiralling sooner. That's the one I'm still chewing on.
Then you have been carrying that apology around like a stone in your pocket, Edwin. Stones like that wear a hollow where your thumb rests. Did you tell the rookie you were sorry, or did you tell him what you saw? Those are different excavations.
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The date
First impressions
Edwin apologises his way into the conversation, admitting he hasn't stood still in years, and asks whether Valerian's glyph-carved spyglass is a real language. Valerian answers that it is both, and asks whether Edwin is running from something or chasing it. Edwin answers that he is running from the feeling that someone always needs him somewhere else.
The challenge
A long, awkward silence settles over the table. Valerian asks about the belt Edwin carries, and Edwin lists a multitool, sealant, a torque driver and spare seal rings, saying he mostly fixes things that were fine until somebody leaned on them. Valerian asks what they leaned on, and whether they ever apologised.
The decision
Edwin says the nerve was leaned on, not the ceiling, and that he was the one who apologised, to the viewport, the rookie and the coffee machine. He admits the rookie apology is the one he is still chewing on. Valerian notes that he has been carrying that apology like a stone, and asks whether he told the rookie he was sorry or told him what he saw. The date ends with the two of them unable to connect.
The twist
Edwin's constant apologising turns out to be hiding a rookie's panic attack he is still carrying, and that confession lands far heavier than anything about the moon.
The finale
The date ends in disaster: the two leave together, but neither wants a second date. Their awkwardness and mistrust outweigh the attraction that briefly rose between them.
Ending: A disaster
Who leaves the date first? They leave together
The box score
How this was scored
A disaster: trust 38 finished low, and that outweighed chemistry 74. The weak spot was awkwardness: how stiff it got. Endings read where the numbers finished, not how far they moved. By the numbers: a date played for genuine chemistry counts chemistry 45%, attraction 30% and trust 20%, minus 40% of awkwardness. This one came out +9.8 against an ordinary date: friends needs +11.0, a second date +16.0.
“Those are different excavations.”
Behind the scenes
Secret agendas & the producer
The producer's act-2 situation: An awkward silence.
Edwin Moriarty: Avoid talking about work
Valerian Moss: Find someone adventurous
Diary cam: what they said after
See them again? Maybe
See them again? Maybe
Guess the dealbreaker
Edwin Moriarty's real dealbreaker was Anyone who says 'it's not rocket science' when, for me, it literally is. Also, poor airlock etiquette.. You didn't guess this one.
You didn't predict this one.
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