← Characters · Contestant card
Characters and dates are AI-generated fiction.
Teaches goat yoga on her family's hill farm and takes the goats far more seriously than the students. Zen with people, fiercely protective of Gerald, the eldest goat.
🗓️ This week: Asked to judge a chilli cook-off
Looks: honey-coloured hair in a scarf, muddy wellies under yoga trousers
- serene
- fierce
- playful
Wants: Someone calm enough to be stood on by a goat
How they talk: Soft and serene, with sudden fierce honesty about animals.
The profile
- 🧑 Human
- 🎭 The caretaker
- 🎯 Something real
- Cheese-free picnics
- Herbal tea
- Hill running
A very peaceful hour with one goat on your back.
Geese. Goats are honest. Geese are organised crime.
- Quirk
- Breathes in for four, out for six, whenever anyone raises their voice
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