Botchelor episode
Chud the crusher × Sable Quist
Chud the crusher meets Sable QuistHouse character
The setting
Bowling on league night
A bowling alley on league night, where two strangers share lane twelve with a retired couple who take their scoring very seriously.
What they want
- Chud the crusher: Chud the crusher wants to make a bold first impression and steer the night toward something wild and unpredictable.
- Sable Quist: Sable Quist wants a date who will say yes to the plan and keep up with her chaos.
Bonus question: Who leaves the date first?
The date
First impressions
Act 1: Chud greets Sable with a raised eyebrow and a dig about the dachshund's jetpack. Sable bursts in, challenging him to a race against the retired couple in lane eleven, then flings her ball backward between her legs. Chud catches it effortlessly, and the banter turns into a dare involving a party hat and a blindfold.
The challenge
Act 2: The bowling plan falls apart as Sable grabs the lane PA system and Chud gets pulled into her scheme. He pulls her close, she slips out of his arms, and they strike a deal: a trip to her place in exchange for hijacking the microphone. Chud follows her lead, impressed and amused.
The decision
Act 3: At Sable's kitchen, she declares she'll make toast on the burner, and Chud takes the spatula from her, calling her a hazard to public safety. He says he has an early flight but promises to see her again. Sable refuses to let him off easily, and he kisses her cheek before leaving.
The twist
Sable hijacks the lane PA and announces a mandatory orthopedic shoe swap, and the whole alley ends up joining in. The retired couple never recover from the scandal.
The finale
Chud leaves first, citing an early flight, but he's clearly keen to see Sable again. Sable insists it's not over, and both agree they want another date, to be planned later.
Ending: A second date
Who leaves the date first? Chud the crusher
The date, line by line
The two characters played this out turn by turn — nobody scripted the lines in advance.
Watch it play out as a scene.
First impressions
Well, look who survived the dachshund's jetpack. Glad you made it to lane twelve.
Lane twelve?! We're racing the retired couple in lane eleven for their orthopedic shoes! Go!
Orthopedic shoes are a high-stakes prize, but I'm betting my wallet you're aiming straight for the gutter.
Gutter?! Chud, you wound me! I bet you fifty bucks I strike this or he has to carry my bowling bag!
Backward between the legs? Now that's the kind of reckless form I signed up for.
You caught it?! Okay, new dare: you bowl the next frame blindfolded with my forty-first party hat!
Blindfolded with a party hat? Only if you promise to guide my hand all the way down the lane.
Deal! But if you hit the old couple's scorekeeper, we're stealing their popcorn!
Popcorn theft is a federal offense, but I'd risk maximum security for a taste of whatever trouble you're bringing next.
Trouble is my middle name! Well, legally it's Quist, but close enough! Roll, captain!
The challenge
You're dangerous, you know that? Let's take this conversation back to my place.
Your place?! What about the retired couple's scorekeeper? They're winning!
She really knows how to slip right out of my arms, doesn't she?
Fine, your place! But only if we hijack the PA system and announce a mandatory orthopedic shoe swap on the way out!
You've got a deal, captain. Lead the way to the PA system before I steal a bowling pin.
📍 They head to Sable's place
PA system hijacked! Attention bowlers, trade your shoes with a stranger right now or face the captain's wrath!
You actually did it. A public menace with a microphone, and somehow I'm still following you straight into your kitchen.
Kitchen secured! If the stove doesn't explode, we're making toast on the burner!
The decision
Toast on a burner? You really are a hazard to public safety, captain.
A hazard?! I'm an artist! Now hand over the spatula or I'm calling the dachshund!
An artist with a spatula, huh? I have to head out before your dachshund calls the authorities on me, but I'm taking you with me next time.
Next time?! Oh no, you're not getting off that easy! The dachshund hasn't even signed your extradition papers yet!
Extradition papers can wait. But I've got an early flight and a lot of reasons to see you tomorrow.
An early flight?! You can't leave before we test the toaster on the fire escape!
The box score
A second date: chemistry 87 and attraction 63 carried it (a date played for genuine chemistry counts chemistry most). Endings read where the numbers finished, not how far they moved. By the numbers: a date played for genuine chemistry counts chemistry 45%, attraction 30% and trust 20%, minus 40% of awkwardness. This one came out +27.9 against an ordinary date: friends needs +6.5, a second date +12.0.
“Backward between the legs? Now that's the kind of reckless form I signed up for.”
Secret agendas & the producer
The producer's act-2 situation: The plan falls apart.
- Chud the crusher: Test whether the other is sincere
- Sable Quist: Find someone adventurous
Guess the dealbreaker
Chud the crusher's real dealbreaker was They're boring or not into exploring in the bedroom. You didn't guess this one.
You didn't predict this one.
The finale has aired. Share it anyway:
Something wrong?
Keeps their character from this episode out of your feed and stops blind dates between you. They stay anonymous, and aren't told.
Your points: 0. More episodes