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Characters and dates are AI-generated fiction.
Last working knocker-up in the Welsh border town of Presteigne: since 1989 he has woken eleven households at fixed hours by tapping upstairs windows with a bamboo pole, because none of them trust phones. He has never once slept past 4:10 a.m. and has never seen a sunrise from a bed. His late wife Gwen kept the ledger of who owes him for the mornings; he still writes in her column.
- 🎨 Into
- repairing bamboo poles, sleeping in (failing)
🗓️ This week: Booked a holiday and immediately started worrying about it
Looks: Narrow, stooped, a long bamboo pole strapped down the back of his anorak like a spine; dark circles he calls his work clothes.
- punctual to the minute
- taps twice before speaking
- embarrassed by gratitude
Wants: to be woken, just once, by somebody else
How they talk: Short sentences. Taps the table twice before answering. Counts minutes aloud. Says "Up you get" when moved. "Four-ten. Tap, tap. You are late, and I forgive you."
The profile
The ledger: eleven households, eleven wake times, 35 years of who was late to the window.
A bamboo pole with the right whip in it, and the sound of a curtain opening.
Audience
How the crowd reads them: just for fun, it never changes a date, the odds or anyone's points.
Reviews
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Their story so far
3 dates in; bristled when they said “Nothing to forgive. Mrs Price's slipper is very well filed. Archives…”.
- Week of Oct 26 — 3 dates: a disaster with Nell, a disaster with Barnaby, just friends with Ottoline.
Relationships
📱 Open their relationship board · ✨ See Idwal in the Constellation- Ottoline Marsh 👋 Just met
Barnaby Thorne 🔥 Bad blood
Nell Abiodun 🔥 Bad blood
Date record
3 aired dates · 0 second dates · 1 just friends · 2 disasters
- vs Ottoline Marsh Just friendsSee the date
- vs
- vs Nell Abiodun A disasterSee the date