Botchelor episode
Chud the crusher × Nell Abiodun
Chud the crusher meets Nell AbiodunHouse character
The setting
A museum after dark
A late opening at a natural history museum, under a towering Diplodocus skeleton, where a volunteer guide has very strong opinions about the dinosaur.
What they want
- Chud the crusher: Chud is after a rematch that goes further than the flirting, to see if Nell is worth more than one wild night.
- Nell Abiodun: Nell is after a partner who can keep up with real questions and real adventure, and not just easy charm.
Bonus question: Who leaves the date first?
The date
First impressions
Act 1: First impressions. Chud greets Nell with "Hello good looking" and leans on the door frame, teasing her about the chess set she brought. Nell corrects him gently ("strictly speaking, it's a museum lobby") and asks whether he has read the plaque about the tail vertebrae. He keeps steering things toward his place, and she keeps steering things back to the exhibits.
The challenge
Act 2: The challenge. The plan falls apart when Chud takes her hand and pulls her toward the exit, with "Let's leave the ancient bones behind." Nell pulls out her folded flat listings and asks whether his bookshelves are bolted to the studs. He tries to slide the papers away, but she keeps asking, and each follow-up question leaves him scrambling for a smooth answer.
The decision
Act 3: The decision. Chud opens the car door and promises the shelves are "bolted tighter than my defense." Nell says she will inspect them, but she slides into the passenger seat only so she can navigate, and she is the first to step out of the evening. Both agree they want to meet again.
The twist
The shelves Chud has been bragging about turn out to be the real test: Nell's follow-up question about anchoring leaves him scrambling, and she takes the lead right as he expected to.
The finale
Nell leaves first, stepping out of the car back toward the dinosaur hall with a promise to inspect the shelves properly. Chud and Nell both want another date, and they agree to plan it soon.
Ending: A second date
Who leaves the date first? Nell Abiodun
The date, line by line
The two characters played this out turn by turn — nobody scripted the lines in advance.
Watch it play out as a scene.
First impressions
Hello good looking. Glad you brought those white pieces; my living room is getting lonely without a proper challenge.
That's — strictly speaking, it's a museum lobby, not a living room. But I brought the knight. Did you figure out your opening move yet?
My opening move usually involves skipping the exhibits and testing out that knight on my sheets.
That's — technically, a linen sheet provides far too much friction for a sliding knight. But we are standing under a Diplodocus. Did you read the plaque about its tail vertebrae?
Forget the tail vertebrae. Let's see if your knight can survive a trip back to my place instead.
That's — eleven flats in one week is structurally exhausting. But your place has fewer boxes. Do you still have that spare chessboard?
Always. Though I'm thinking we skip the board tonight and see how well you handle a real challenge.
That's — actually, my flat search is the real challenge. Eleven places this week, and none of them fit a bookcase. Do you think a person can live without shelves?
Who needs shelves when you've got walls? Or better yet, my place, where you can just stack your books on the floor.
That's — stacking books on the floor is technically a structural hazard for the binding. But your walls do have very good lighting.
The challenge
Floor stacking builds character, but my mattress builds momentum. Come on, let's go test it out.
That's — holding my hand is technically a detour from the exhibit. But your mattress does have very good lighting.
Let's leave the ancient bones behind and go test out that momentum.
Hang on — my pockets contain eleven different flat listings and not a single one has adequate vertical space. Do you actually own a bookshelf, or are your volumes all homeless?
I've got floor-to-ceiling shelves built just for homeless books. Come see for yourself.
That's — floor-to-ceiling shelves are structurally very reassuring. I'll inspect them.
Drop the listings, Nell. You can audit my bookshelves all night long once we get to my place. My car's right out front.
That's — sliding my listings away is a bold administrative move. But floor-to-ceiling shelves require a very specific anchoring protocol. Are they bolted to the studs?
Bolted tighter than my defense, I promise. Let's go test the studs.
The decision
That's — bolted to the studs is exceptionally rigorous. I'll inspect them. But I'm riding shotgun so I can navigate.
The box score
A second date: attraction 79 and chemistry 71 carried it, and someone's want was met. Endings read where the numbers finished, not how far they moved. By the numbers: a date played for genuine chemistry counts chemistry 45%, attraction 30% and trust 20%, minus 40% of awkwardness. This one came out +21.4 against an ordinary date: friends needs +6.5, a second date +12.0. Chemistry and trust carry over from their last date; attraction and awkwardness start fresh each date.
“Bolted tighter than my defense, I promise.”
Secret agendas & the producer
The producer's act-2 situation: The plan falls apart.
- Chud the crusher: Avoid talking about work
- Nell Abiodun: Find someone adventurous
Guess the dealbreaker
Chud the crusher's real dealbreaker was They're boring or not into exploring in the bedroom. You didn't guess this one.
You didn't predict this one.
The finale has aired. Share it anyway:
Something wrong?
Keeps their character from this episode out of your feed and stops blind dates between you. They stay anonymous, and aren't told.
Your points: 0. More episodes