BotchelorA basement jazz bar, one table left
Sable QuistHouse
Nell AbiodunHouse
Marlo SableHouse
Armand ValoisHouse
Bennett HawthorneHouse
🍸 The mixer at a basement jazz bar, one table left
Sable, Nell, Hesper, Barnaby, and Soren trickle into the dim jazz bar, awkwardly eyeing the solitary table left. They claim their seats, trading assessing glances over flickering candles as the tension thickens. Six quick matches loom ahead before that ominous bell finally rings.
- AI-generated
- One room
- 5 singles
- 3 rounds
- 5 house characters
🔔 Round 1 of 3 — the bell rings, and the first pairs sit down.
Nell Abiodun × 
Armand ValoisIts own episodeFirst impressions
Oh. You're here. Good. I was going to pretend I'd only come for the drums. Is that loupe for reading the menu, or are you the kind of man who inspects a cocktail for forgeries?
Strictly for the menu, though I have been known to examine glass eyes with it. Badgers are particular about their eyes. Forgeries are a fair worry in my line of work. Tell me about the uniform, though.
👀 Sable steals a sip of Bennett's drink at the next table.
The challenge
The uniform is a navy polo with the museum crest, and the cardigan is because the galleries go cold after midnight. I'm a night guard. You said 'my line of work', though. Which line? Auction houses? Nobody inspects glass eyes for fun.
Taxidermy, I'm afraid. Badgers, mostly, and only those who died of old age. Each one gets a backstory before it gets a glass eye. Do your museum's stuffed things ever give you a turn after midnight, or are they too well behaved to frighten a night guard?
👀 Marlo waves from the bar.
The decision
Never once. Our stuffed things are far too well behaved. The barn owl in the east wing has watched me for nine years, but that's the lighting. Sorry. What goes into a badger's backstory? Is it true, or is it a good story?
Both, I'm afraid. The facts come from the family who brought him in, and the rest is what I'd like to be true. Gerald was born under a hawthorn, got through one hard winter, and retired at fourteen. Is that cheating? Now, your barn owl. Does he have a name?
Just friends
Bennett Hawthorne × Sable QuistIts own episodeFirst impressions
Sable. Good name for someone who's mid-laugh at a jazz bar. I'm Soren, and I should warn you, I'm a ghost, so if I go a little translucent during the bass solo, that's just the vibe.
A GHOST?! Yes! Okay, you've got my whole attention and a free seat at my table. Do you rattle the chains during the drum break, or do you save the haunting for the slow songs? Be honest, I can take it.
👀 Armand steals a sip of Nell's drink at the next table.
The challenge
Chains are amateur hour, sweetheart. I save the haunting for the good songs. Watch the lights when the next one hits. Wait, you're already watching. Good instincts.
Oh, the lights LISTENED to you! Okay, ghost, quick test. I'm about to propose something, and you say yes before I finish. Ready? When the drummer takes his solo personally, we make him a fan club of one: you. Yes or no?
👀 Marlo waves from the bar.
The decision
Yes. I was already halfway to the front row before you finished the sentence. Fair warning, the drummer might cry. Happy tears, I'm hoping. Now tell me, does that glitter ever come off, or is it just refusing to leave like the rest of us?
Oh, it's clinging to me like a bad review! I've given up on it. You said yes AND you were already at the front row? Ghost, you're hired. Look, the drummer's sniffling. Hat for your next solo, or are you too cool for hats?
A second date
🔔 Round 2 of 3 — the bell rings, and everyone moves on.
Armand Valois × Bennett HawthorneIts own episodeFirst impressions
Good evening. Forgive the staring, but I'm a professional admirer of things that have outlasted their own bodies. That coffee cup never empties, I notice. Is it a trick of the house, or are you simply very well insulated? And the 1979 pin: whose was it first?
Little of both, daddy-o. The house is haunted, I'm haunted, and the coffee's stubborn. The pin was Dottie's, the waitress who ran the counter back in '79. It passed to me when she clocked out for good. Ownership gets fuzzy when you're dead.
👀 Marlo steals a sip of Sable's drink at the next table.
The challenge
Dottie's pin, passed down like a good overcoat. I approve. You said the coffee's stubborn, so I'm curious: does it stay warm, or does it just never run out? Also, fair warning, I keep an owl named Reginald. Does that unsettle you at all?
Lukewarm since Carter, daddy-o. It never runs out because it never really gets drunk. Reginald? Does he hunt, or just judge? A ghost can handle a lot, but an owl giving you the side-eye from a perch is a whole different haunting. What's his opinion on disco?
👀 Nell waves from the bar.
The decision
He judges, mostly. Retired from hunting years ago, now he merely adjudicates. Disco? He calls it a dance for people who've never grieved properly, but I've caught him tapping a talon to the Bee Gees. Come meet him. He'll give you the side-eye, and you can give it back.
Reginald tapping the Bee Gees is the most honest thing I've heard all night. Disco's got more grief in it than he thinks, it just wears sequins. Bring him to the diner. You and me, one jukebox pick, and he gets to judge the results.
A second date
Sable Quist × 
Marlo SableIts own episodeFirst impressions
YOU! Hi! Okay, the drummer is taking his solo so personally, and the torte is one slice with two forks. What's in the notebook? Diagrams of what, Hesper? Also, I dare you to grab the bigger fork before the bell rings. Yes or no? Don't think about it!
Yes. No. Yes. The notebook is diagrams of the torte, and I'm not allowed to explain them yet. I'm not grabbing the bigger fork either. I'm observing it. Why does one slice come with two forks? Are we meant to share, or is it a test?
👀 Bennett steals a sip of Armand's drink at the next table.
The challenge
Two forks means we SHARE! It's a test of trust and cutlery. Pass me the big one and I'll pretend I didn't see you write 'fascinating.' What else is in that notebook? Don't lie, the drummer's watching.
Accepted. Finding: one slice, two forks, zero arguments. That's either trust or a trap. The drummer is also in my notes now, for his solo. Before I answer about the notebook, Sable: what do you do for work?
👀 Nell watches from the bar, drink in hand.
The decision
I stage ambushes of joy for strangers. Birthdays, anniversaries, once a lighthouse's retirement, complete with a cake shaped like a foghorn. Nobody's ever caught me. Now, trust or trap, Hesper? Be honest, I can take it. And what's the diagram of?
Trust, then. Anyone who builds a foghorn cake for a lighthouse has already decided the world owes it a grin. The diagram shows the torte in layers, with a little arrow for each time you've looked at me. Eleven so far. Fascinating.
A second date
🔔 Round 3 of 3 — the bell rings, and everyone moves on.
Marlo Sable × Nell AbiodunIts own episodeFirst impressions
Hi. Your notebook is already open, so I'm guessing you take notes too. Quick question before the drummer starts: when you share dessert, do you actually want the last bite, or is that just politeness?
Honestly? I want the last bite, and I would never admit it across a table. Sorry, that's a simple question and I've answered it with a paragraph. Are the diagrams in your notebook something you're working on, or a list of who gets the last bite?
👀 Sable watches from the bar, drink in hand.
The challenge
Both. The diagrams track the last-bite question, plus a flowchart of who slides the plate across the table. You just gave me a data point I didn't expect. Fascinating. Now, my earring is under that grate. Do you have a torch?
Torch, yes. Battery, one per cent. Sorry, this grate is original Victorian ironwork, and the cellar under it is older than the building. The Romans had cellars here, probably. Anyway. Hesper, can I ask something heavier than an earring?
👀 Armand waves from the bar.
The decision
Ask. Fair warning: I'm terrible at lying, and my notebook is already open. Also, the earring is a loss at this point, so you're getting my full attention. Fascinating, by the way, that you said 'heavier.'
Sorry, the drummer just made the whole room look up. Heavier, then. You write down everything, like you expect to forget it. What's the one line in that notebook you'd rather I didn't read?
A disaster
🌙 Barnaby and Soren depart together as Sable stealthily slips Soren a number, though not before Hesper manages to slip Sable one as well. Nell heads home entirely on their own as the last table empties into the quiet basement jazz bar.
House characters are the show's own, played by the show: Sable Quist, Nell Abiodun, Marlo Sable, Armand Valois, Bennett Hawthorne.
Each table is its own date, with its own ending; whoever wants another can have it. Your matches